"Now, I realize there's no reason to hate myself because I'm loved by many people..."
I post my thoughts about my 20th and 21st. I also post my birthday celebration photos and wrote something about it. Let's click read more to read it further!
Designed by @alairdelacour
This is also from @alairdelacour.
Balloons from @ea_decorate
My besties. (left to right) Yessica-Stephani-Priscilla-Yemima-Hanna-Me-Vicky-Evelyn-Melinda-Sarah. (so sad Ennie and Lucy were late so they didn't take picture with us)
My OOTD squad. (left to right) Dinan-Kiki-Stella-Me-kak Surya-Yoga-Madeleine-Sonya.
Hi guys, I just turned 21! I'm both sad and happy. I'm happy because I'm officially an adult now (plus legal) and I'm sad because it means there're more responsibilities that I will get. But overall, I feel so blessed beyond measure and compare <3 I can live until 21 years old only because of God's grace. I would be die and give up with this life if I live without Him. There are so many blessings, love, and grace that I got on my 20th from God. I can't thank Him enough. God has been so good to me.
Throwback to last year, in the begining of my 20th, I got so angry and disappointed with God for some reasons. I acted like I didn't have God. I got anxious with many things, I got upset with myself and even hated myself. I acted like I didn't receive God forgiveness and love. I even doubt Him so much. My faith was shaken. Then God processed me so hard. He proved me that He is alive and loves me so much. Day by day, my faith has been up again and growing stronger. I don't doubt and disappointed with God anymore. My anxiety also becomes less day by day. When I look back on my 20th, I find that His loving-kindness has been with me always, and He approves me (not only accept) even with all my doubtness and disappointment to Him, and my flaws. He showers and crowns me with His love and grace. To be honest, I used to wish that I'd never been born everytime I was birthday for many years (I know this is a stupid wish) because I hated my life. Now, I don't say I love my life, but I'm trying to love my life, and I stop wishing that impossible wish haha. On my 21st, I finally can say I've changed into a different person now, not the old me who always be a victim of my own negative feelings and thoughts.
On the day I was birthday, I celebrated my birthday with my church community at Mangia restaurant at Grand Indonesia Mall, they're my true best friends. Then suddenly my family gave me surprised by came to the restaurant and they (especially my little brother) gave me a lovely flower and gave me a skirt that bought from Forever 21 which was on my birthday wishlist (click here to read my birthday wishlist). My friends were also surprised me by giving me birthday cake and flowers, also papan karton yang dihias (sorry I dunno what to say in English, below I'm going to post the photo). I feel so loved by them like A LOT. And what they did really touched my heart. They gave me surprise and it succeed! I cried when my family gave me a lovely flower and super happy when my friends gave me purple flowers too because since long time ago, I wished someone to gave me flower on my birthday and I even didn't write it on my wishlist. I had never gotten flower from anybody in my life, so this was the first time I got it. Gosh, I'm so grateful for that day. Now, I realize there's no reason to hate myself because I've loved by many people. Words can't describe how much I love and I'm grateful to have them and to know them in my life. I'm so blessed beyond measure and beyond compare. And oh, what makes me more grateful for that day is all of them came so it was full team. Yayy!
And the day after my birthday, I celebrated my birthday with my OOTD friends. We have been friends not so long time, less than 1 year but we're close like we have been friends since long time ago. I'm so grateful to know them in my life. It's really nice to spent time with the people who have the same passion like me. One of the reasons I always excited to meet them is because we always take OOTD photos everytime we meet lol. Taking OOTD photo is a must for us everytime we meet, but we also have quality time tho.
A flower from my family. My mom had feeling that my friends would give me flowers so they gave me only 1 flower, but still love it too much! <3
With my spiritual mentor
These flowers are so lovely, it's my favorite colour, purple <3 They gave me this with some notes on it.
This is what I said "papan karton yang dihias" above
Flowers from @alairdelacour
Flowers from @alairdelacour
Thank you for the birthday cake guys!
Blow the candle
Notes from my beloved best friends <3
That's all about my birthday. Happiest birthday to myself! Happy being legal! :D