Lately I'm so anxious about so many things. I'm anxious about my grades, my future, my final exam, my thesis (in bahasa: skripsi), etc.
Continue to read it below :)
I know God holds my future so I shouldn't be anxious or worry but I still do it. Yesterday I was anxious more about my grade. I was so afraid about what if I failed on this subject. I didn't want to retake this subject, I didn't want to postpone my graduation. So yesterday I tried to change my mind because our feelings and behaviour come from our mind, right? I tried to think clearly, thought positive, calmed myself, meditated on God's words (bible), and stopped thinking about negative "what if". Then I could let go of my grade, but still hoped for the best result. I tried to choose a right response. I didn't want this anxious feeling controlled my mind and feeling, I wanted to be free from this. I released my grade to God, knowing that He is in control. Let His will be done in my life, not my will because He knows what's the best for me. I don't want to act like I don't have God (worry, afraid, anxious about anything). So today was the day the result came out. You know what, I passed in this subject!! Praise the Lord. I can't believe it until now. When I did the exam, I even didn't understand the questions. I was so sure that I wouldn't pass this subject. But by the grace of God, I passed it! I'm so happy. So what I know is God taught me something. He wanted to taught me how to choose the right response, how to trust Him, how to release everything to Him, etc. And when I finally learned about them all, He gave me reward (I passed the exam). So my pain of yesterday didn't useless hahaha.
And I still have many things to worry about, but I always try to choose the right response. Sometimes I fail, but I'm still learning. I know I have God who is alive and He is with me so I don't need to worry about anything :)
Sorry this blog post sounds religious, but this is a form of my gratitude to God because He made me pass this exam.
Choker: @lunarcult (Instagram)
Shirt: Forever 21
Jeans: Cache-cache (ripped by myself)
Bag: Kate Spade NY