Tuesday, 10 May 2016

Thoughts About Friendship

Hello fellas! Okay, this will be my super late post because I took this photos in 2015 (when my hair was still a little bit black and short), but at least today I'm not late (again) to publish a blog post haha. When I took this OOTD, it was my first time meeting my friend, Yoga, and my second time meeting Diras. At that time, I just had quality time with my best friend, then I met Yoga and Diras. Taking OOTD photos is a must when I meet my blogger friends haha.

Talking about my outfit, I wore sleeveless cropped shirt, houndstooth blazer, maxi skirt. I paired them with wedges sneakers to made my look not so formal (because I wore blazer). I personally love this style so much because it's monochrome chic style which is it's the style that I love currently. And while writing this, I just realized that my outfit matched with that monochrome wall haha.

Want to see more my OOTD? Let's click "read more" below the 3rd photos. I also write my thought about friendship and how to manage conflict in friendship.



With Diras

With Yoga






It's such a pleasure to be a blogger because I can have so many new friends. Since I became a blogger and met so many new people, I became an extrovert, but my introvert and extrovert levels are slight (maybe I'm an ambivert?). I started to like making new friends. The sad thing is, I don't have close friends in campus when my extrovert level is up so making friends with bloggers makes me happy. But behind all of this, I have around 10 best friends and I'm SO GRATEFUL to have them in my life. They have been my best friends since 8 years ago. They know my darkest but still wanna be my best friends. They didn't judge and leave me in my lowest time when so many people judged me. They even brought me up from that lowest time. Somehow I wonder what makes them still wanna be my best friends, because (a) I think I'm not a funny friend, I can't be as fun as my other best friends, I don't know how to react when they're joking with me, (b) I had dark past (it's my ex flaw hahaha) which was society may be couldn't accept it, (c) if they tell me their problems directly face to face, I can't give many solutions (but if by chat, I can give long solution, idk why), etc. I asked one of them about this, and she couldn't find any reason which is it's good because it means they be my best friend not because they want something from me, but they accept me just the way I am. I'm so blessed beyond measure having them in my life, they're one of the greatest blessings that I've ever had. We've never talked about each other behind, and most of us have the same temperaments, which are phlegmatic melancholic (or vice versa) so maybe it's the reason we've almost never had conflict in 8 years of friendship. I learn so many things about friendship from them. Thanks ladies for being my inner-est circle! Love them too much! :* My dream is I really want to have vacation with them to another city or even overseas. But I don't know it will come true or not :')

Let's talk about friendship more (or maybe more likely "how to manage conflict in friendship"). For me, how to avoid conflict is when we don't like something from our friend, we tell them NICELY (without being grumpy or saying rude things) that we don't like a b c from them. I call it reconciliation. To start the conversation, first of all say sorry to them first because we get upset with them then we tell the causes of what makes us upset. By saying sorry, it shows that we're humble enough, we respect our friends, and it can make our friends' hearts soften. By talking nicely to them what we don't like about them, it won't hurt their feeling, our relationship keeps being good or even better because our friends may be will be changed into a better person. We also become a better person because how we manage conflicts can make us mature. If we're really upset with our friends, calm our heart first before talk to them. Being grumpy or saying rude things to our friends WON'T make the situation become better, it's even can break the relationship or make the situation becomes worse. Trust me, I've been there. Let's keep reading, I'm gonna tell you my story on the next paragraph. 

In my teenage life until now, as I remember, when I have conflict with others, I have never said rude words or showed my anger to them (to be honest, it's not because I don't want, but because I just can't show my anger to people and I guess my empathy is too high for my friends so I don't wanna hurt their feelings, even though it kills me inside by keeping my anger). But, the result is I don't have enemy (even though I know some of my friends are my haters behind my back (not in front of me) haha, but I don't take them as my enemy). Since I was teenager until now, (if I'm not mistaken), I just ever had big conflicts 4 or 5 times with my friends (not my best friends, or maybe they're my ex best friends? idk). What I mean big conflict is my friends showed their anger to me (directly or by chat) by saying rude words, and they even quipped me on social media (at that time, Twitter), and betrayed me by talking about my secrets to others. I seldom have conflicts with my friends, so for me things like those are a big conflict. And not me who made the conflicts became big, because most of the conflicts happened because of my friends were angry to me (HAHA) and they made it became big conflicts (but I don't blame them, it's my fault indeed so they got angry to me), I had said sorry to them for my mistakes. And because of they said rude things to me when the conflicts happened, it hurt my heart a lot, and I still can't forget what they said to me until now (you see what happens if you don't manage your anger or solve conflict nicely). One of them said sorry to me, but somehow I still can't forget what she said. But I've already forgiven all of them indeed (even most of them didn't say sorry to me), I had no reason to not forgiving them and now if I meet them, I become like nothing happened between us, we have fun like usual. So if my friends were the one who made mistakes, I told them nicely so until now, no one feels hurt by me (I guess). I value my relationship with friends a lot, so it's important for me to keeping our relationship in peace. I personally don't like conflict and avoid conflict, I love peace haha.

Anyway FYI, I write this without having any intention to quip my friends. So I'm sorry if you feel quipped by me :)






Sleveless cropped shirt: Forever 21

Blazer: Preloved blogger

Maxi skirt: Cotton On

Shoes: Zalora

Xoxo,

24 comments:

  1. Great post Olivia, your look is classy and lovely ❤️
    xxx
    www.travelera.es

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  2. lovely post Olivia and love your photos also
    simplylovebeingme.blogspot.com

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  3. Replies
    1. Tapi aku mau panjangin rambut kak, bosen rambut pendek haha. Thanks kak! :)

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  4. Very well said. There are times when I hate my friends for their bad attitudes but I easily get over it when they say sorry and they mean it. :) Great outfit btw.

    xoxo,
    SHAIRA // New Post

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  5. Ah...yea...I'm not really confident about calling someone as my bestfriend since i don't want to ever feel like 'im the only person who thinks we're best buddy'...but i think i got some close friends which can accept the way i am! it really makes we happy, rite?! i got a really weird mood swings, often threw tantrum, often ranting over little things (like, when someone liked akun line cinta2an bodoh),i also have weird mindset (not weird it's like considered as abnormal in here, i think in my city), like i often rants about how annoying religion is (when all of them is...religious lol) and got into argument about lgbtq rights, and feminism:)) but..they still want to be my friends.. i think that's enough.
    i don't need a popular social circle with cool kids inside of it, i just need friends who willing to be my friend and accept the way i am..and yeah, i found it (eventhough we wil depart away because college thingy..)
    and whee. :^) i'm so happy for u x

    heavenlypapaya

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    Replies
    1. Haha thanks for sharing your story Ra :) All we need is friend who can accept us unconditionally. But never rely on people because people can disappoint us. Thank you anyway :)

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  6. Omg liv, udah lama banget yaa ini hehehe, anw love this look liv! :) Edgy yet chic :)

    Sonya Thaniya
    A Little Color
    Kindly read my fashion tips here :
    WhatWeLike

    Thankyou ^o^

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Iya Nya haha udah dari tahun lalu bulan maret atau april kayaknya. Thank you Nya :)

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  7. Excellent photo shoot and I agree with your thoughts!

    xoxo, Nastya Deutsch

    NEW POST ON MY BLOG:"EUROVISION 2016: MY FAVORITES"
    INSTAGRAM

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  8. you should DEFINITELY go on a trip together with all your 10 friends
    I had one when we were fresh out of uni and it was one of the best memories I have with them :)

    you know what they say, good friends are like a four leaf clover, hard to find and lucky to have :)

    <3
    The Sweetest Escape 

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, I do REALLY WANT it so bad, but my besties are busy with their things (work and college) so it's difficult to arrange the schedule :')

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  9. Kok kita mirip banget ya, liv :D di kampus juga aku nggak seberapa supel. Malah kadang anti sosial banget. Tapi aku suka banget ketemu orang-orang/teman-teman baru di luar. Kayak kalo lagi datang ke event gitu. Selalu dapat temen baru.

    Anyway, suka banget sama blazernya. Pinjem dooong wkwkwk

    Take care,
    Rizuna from 100% Nerd

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    Replies
    1. Iyaaa Zun, kenapa bisa gitu ya. Aku punya target, tiap dateng ke event-event, mesti kenalan sama at least 1 new friend, ya kecuali kalo eventnya bazaar gitu ya, susah juga mau kenalan sama orang hahaha aku juga sukak sama blazernya Zun, pengen dijual tapi sayang haha

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  10. setuju! waktu jadi blogger jd lebih banyak dpt temen2 baru..
    btw aku malah salah fokus liat foto2 rambut pendek km cocok banget hahah


    www.miharujulie.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Iya Jul, pergaulanku jauh meluas sejak jadi blogger. LOL aku udah bosen rambut pendek Jul, lagi pengen panjangin rambut nih hihi. Thanks anyway! :)

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  11. Thanks my dear :D

    Oh Gosh!!! I'm in love with both outfits. So cool :D

    NEW TREND ALERT POST | Linen Trend.
    InstagramFacebook Oficial PageMiguel Gouveia / Blog Pieces Of Me :D

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  12. Love your fabulous look, Olivia. And love your blog.
    Would you like to follow each other on GFC ? Let me know on my latest post.
    xoxo
    Liza
    https://lizacorner.blogspot.co.id/2016/05/my-sweet-lovely-style-wishlist-of-shein.html

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  13. I though that we have a same problem; such a happy abt sharing this post babe :)

    KIKO,
    Monochrome Diary | NEW POST | Instagram

    ReplyDelete

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